


Final PINOF

by KaytheJay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 16:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15999014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: It is years into the future. Dan and Phil have gotten old and Phil is on his deathbed.





	Final PINOF

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't want to read about Phil dying, I really don't blame you at all and feel free to just move on from this.

Dan knocked on the door of their bedroom. He didn't want to startle Phil awake. He knew Phil needed his rest, though Phil's time was almost up.   
"Hey Philly," Dan said, trying to sound upbeat and failing miserably. He placed a kiss on Phil's forehead. "Is there anything I can do for you?" Phil opened his blue-green eyes just a bit and smiled weakly. His eyes went to Dan's side of the bed so Dan sat down and intertwined his fingers with Phil's. Phil closed his eyes again.   
It had been a few weeks since Phil had decided he no longer wanted to be in the hospital. Dan fought this at first because he didn't want to say his final good-byes to his husband. In the end, he had relented because it was what Phil wanted. They both knew Phil wouldn't be recovering from whatever it was that was happening to him, most having to do with his age.   
Dan closed his eyes and just listened to Phil's shaky breathing. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat but just couldn't manage it. Dan took a deep breath.   
"Abbi, can you come here for a moment," Dan called out to their oldest daughter who had taken it upon herself to move in to make sure Dan still took care of himself. She knew that if she wasn't there, her dad would let himself go because of Phil's state. She pulled over the chair that Phil had decided to put in the room shortly after Abbi was born. Dan brushed her curly brown hair behind her ear.  
"I love you," he whispered. He grabbed her hand. "I couldn't do this without you." He rubbed his thumb over her hand. Abbi smiled a small, forced smile, but Dan didn't see it. He was too focused on Phil. Forcing Phil's face into his memory. As it was when they met. As it was now. They'd never spent more than a few days apart. Even then, they had Skyped every day and texted the entire time.  
Dan had no idea how life would be without Phil there.   
Abbi put her arm around Dan's shoulders because this was something she knew her dad needed. She checked the time on the old alarm clock dan had on the bedside table and knew she would have to go get her kids from school. She hated leaving because anything could happen to Phad (what she and her siblings called Phil) in the twenty or so minutes that she would be gone. She took a deep breath.   
"I have to go now," She said, "Are you going to be ok?" Dan ignored her, still looking at Phil. Abbi knew that Dan had heard her so she got up and walked to Phil's side of the bed to tell him good-bye. Phil smiled at her.   
"I'm proud of you," Phil wheezed. Abbi smiled and turned her back so neither of her parents would see her cry. She had to be strong. Neither of her dads were in a place where they could be strong. She must be the strong one. They were always strong for her, so she needed to be strong for them.   
As soon as Dan heard the front door click shut, he laid down and put his arms around Phil. Phil didn't move. Dan couldn't hold back his tears anymore. He hated seeing Phil like this. Why couldn't they go back to when Phil was full of life when it seemed like he would never die? Even going back just a few years would make all of the difference.   
A few years ago he wouldn't be here, the only thing left to do was to wait for Phil to die.   
If didn't seem fair. Why couldn't he be the one who was dying? He was the horrible one, after all, not Phil. Phil needed to be the one who remained alive. Phil deserved to be the one who remained alive to watch their young grandchildren grow up. Perhaps even meet their greats. But no. Dan knew that Phil wouldn't make it to the end of the year, let alone seeing the little ones grow up.   
"I don't know exactly how much you are suffering," Dan said, letting out a sob for the first time in front of Phil since they'd moved him home. "I just know that you are." Dan paused, unable to believe the words that were about to leave his mouth. He closed his eyes and shook his head, as if that would change the reality of the situation. "Y-you can... You can let go now." Dan wiped tears from his face and opened his eyes, allowing himself to focus on Phil. Phil in all of his beauty.   
Phil's grip slackened. Dan panicked and sat up.   
"That didn't literally mean right this second you bastard!" Dan hurried to try and find Phil's pulse. Maybe Phil had just fallen asleep and that's why he was no longer able to hold on as tightly. He couldn't find it. "Phil!" Dan shouted, not really caring who else would hear his shouts. Dan put his hand near Phil's face to check for breathing. Phil's pulse could be hard to find sometimes. It wasn't as strong as it used to be. He could still be alive and breathing. This was not the case.   
The tears were coming fast now. Dan couldn't help it. Phil had been his best friend since he was eighteen years old. He could not lose him now. Best friends were supposed to be forever. Marriage was "until death do we part" and he wasn't ready to part. "Phil!" he sobbed. "Phil, please don't leave me." Dan curled up beside Phil and put his head on his chest like they used to do until Phil started having his breathing issues and they'd had to stop. His heartbeat. The rise and fall of his chest. The two things that gave him comfort. Gone.  
Phil was gone. Dan closed his eyes.   
Dan felt his entire world collapse. His best friend and husband gone. This was the end of the line. Nothing else in life mattered anymore. Everything was taken away from him in that moment. Phil was gone and there was no getting him back. No magic pill that would take them both back to the good ole days back when they were young. Back when they were decades away from this exact thing. Dan didn't even feel sad. He was just... empty.   
"This is just a horrible nightmare," Dan whispered to himself, "When I open my eyes, Phil will be here. We'll be young again." Dan opened his eyes and looked to Phil's face. He sat up and shook Phil. "This joke isn't funny, Phil," Dan said, trying to make the situation less real. Of course this was only a joke. Phil wouldn't die. He can't die. "Phil please," Dan said, getting more and more desperate by the second. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's body. "Phil," he whispered so softly he wasn't even sure if he actually said it or if he'd just thought it.   
•••  
After Phil's funeral, Dan remembered the Phil is not on fire video that they'd filmed. They'd filmed it early because Phil had known that he wouldn't be able to do it properly once November rolled around. The entire Phandom had been demanding to know why they had filmed it early but Dan and Phil didn't want to reveal the truth about Phil's health. They knew it would break their hearts. Many of their followers had been there since the very beginning. Phil's death would be detrimental to them.   
Dan took a deep breath before he opened the project on his computer that he and Phil had begun to put together for their followers. It would be the last project they would have both had a hand in that their followers would see. They both had been aware of it at the time they started. It only just hit Dan how real it was. Dan wasn't even thirty seconds into reviewing where they'd left off before he slammed is laptop shut, unable to look a Phil's smiling face. Dan shook his head.  
"Phil would have wanted me to finish editing this and give it to our followers. I have to do it. " Dan swallowed. "For Phil."  
And he did manage to finish putting the clips together. He left nearly everything in, all but a few spots where they hadn't said anything while scrolling for the next question. He couldn't stand the thought of posting a bloopers video.   
Dan looked at the camera and sighed. He knew he would have to put a video up announcing Phil's death. He took a deep breath. He didn't know if he was ready, but he had to be. The audience deserved to know what had happened. Besides, it was nearly the end of November and PINOF needed to be posted. He wasn't sure if he would be able to force himself to post a video after Final PINOF went up.   
"This is a surprise huh," Dan said, attempting to keep his tone light. "Dan talking after the endscreen." He took a deep breath. "I know you all read the title." Dan bit his lip. "Final Phil is not on fire." Dan closed his eyes. "There's a reason this is the last one.   
Dan found himself unable to look at the camera for the first time in years. He was about to tell millions of people something that would hurt them. And he couldn't even lessen the blow with a joke.   
"Phil is dead. He died a few days ago." Dan felt tears coming on. "So we obviously can't do any more of," Dan paused for no reason other than he was scared to utter the words that had to leave his mouth. "We can't do any more videos." Dan twisted the ring he hadn't taken off a single time since the night Phil had proposed to him all those years ago. "I have decided to leave our channels up just for you, but there won't be any new content." Dan closed his eyes again. "From either one of us. I can't imagine making a video without getting him involved. He was the one who encouraged me to start YouTube in the first place. It wouldn't be right to go on without him." Dan shook his head.  
"Thank you all for all of your love and support. And most importantly, thank you to those of you who have been here since 2009." Dan paused, knowing that the next part was just as important to mention as the rest of it. "Even though Phil didn't know your names, he loved every single one of you." Dan chucked to hide a sob. "Sometimes he loved you more than he loved me." Dan felt tears running down his face. "Having all of you to support us has been amazing, to say the least, but it has come time for me to leave this part of my life behind. Good-bye internet." With that, he turned off the camera, never to turn it on again.


End file.
